it's been weird recently. i don't know what's really going on but man i feel weird tonight. not really like myself but someone else really. but not in the way it was when all the others were around. i miss them, in a way, because now the train station is empty without them. the worst part? i think its the memories. i remember things that i'm pretty sure are their memories so they don't really make sense. i've written a few of them down already. the worst one is the incident. i remember it was around the middle of april in 1972. i wrote down how i vividly remember the explosion happening during the training exercise, but i dont remember anything about the actual exercise itself. i remember the scars well enough to trace out where they should be on my legs, and the pain. the pain. just thinking about it to write this entry itself hurts. whoever you are reading this i hope you never have to know pain like hers. or ours. i guess? im not sure. it's weird. i remember the hospital trip and something about needing amputation, which is probably why the scars i remember are as clean as they are, i remember the smell of my seared flesh from them cauterizing the wounds. the last part of this memory i recall is something about someone named Allie, but i don't believe she's the same Allie previously mentioned in the user listing here. i hope one day i can forget the pain. -i'm probably roxanne