i really hate having people i love who i know i can never have anything with. she's happy in her world with her boyfriend and here i am drowning in my own fucking misery. i know even if she wasn't dating him it would still never even work out. i mean. for fuck's sake. she wants to go back to her hometown. which is like. the actual polar opposite of where i have to go in life. i can't staay in america. it would probably fucking kill me if i did. why can't i just give it up. why can't i just be normal about it. why can't i just let it the fuck go. why can't i just accept i will always be fucking alone.-roxanne. probably.